Dad, We've Got You Covered!

By Daryl Jedreann V. Dauden

Let’s make Father’s Day a more meaningful and healthier as we spend more time at home with our loved ones. Despite having unique DNAs, one thing we have in common is that our bodies have the whole repertoire of how we respond to stress. While on lockdown, let’s help our home-based frontliners, our super Dads, and our superhero a break, and let's give stress a fight with them even as we celebrate National Men’s Health Month.

Although stress brings out the worst in our bodies like an illness or a disease, we didn't realize that stresses are experienced for our state to be healthy. But that is not always the case. Ironic isn't it? There is such kind of stress which makes us resilient and connected to who we are. They make us more caring and a bit more courageous than before. Some experiences might be physical or can be described as debilitating anxiety but are proven to be non-toxic. The secret? It's all up to our stress responses. Stress can be good for you if you think it is really good for you. It's also good to say that the effect of stress you expect is the effect of stress you will get.

Dads, this what we can do: Look at the upside and not the downside of stress. Do not allow a "threat response" to come before a "growth response" says Kelly McGonigal, a psychologist. A growth response must create a healthy mindset and challenge the way you think of your situation. When you're stressed out, you have this counter-attack saying, "I shouldn't be stressed out right now because I do not deserve to be stressed." It is another thing to reward yourself once a task or a problem was successfully resolved. Either you treat yourself for a decent meal or you may also look forward to gifting yourself of these amazing stuff because cooking is one of the most excellent detoxifying activities.

On the other hand, stress can lead you to make really good decisions, but "a threat response is not going to help you in the same way a challenge or growth response would" (McGonigal 2019). It is a response that starts in the mind where you act according to the negative extent of your anxiety. Instead of calming down, you tend to panic which creates inflammation in a person's body. According to McGonigal, this is a kind of response where a situation or stress can "prime you to make decisions that are often not consistent with your long-term values." This is also the kind of response that can make someone receptive to all kinds of stress-related illnesses where cancer and cardio problems are on top. Instead, the fact that you acknowledge that you are worried, means you can trust yourself and not your worry. Furthermore, keep your cool and carry on.

Eventually, as you start to be honest with yourself, you can invest in thinking positively on the solution than focusing on your reaction. Therefore, respond skillfully. Acknowledge that the stress is merely there to help you care and make the right action and not just merely reaction. Some of us may think that most of the time, stress can catch us off-guard. A disastrous response can be one that causes us to be depressed all the more. But once we have responded correctly, we can bounce back by forgiving ourselves, the person that caused our response, and move forward.   

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